Randy says it all

The big question surrounding the visual marvel that is Avatar is not what most critics have cited. Really, does it matter that the main focus of this film was on the visual effects over creating the most intricate and airtight plot that ever existed? Absolutely not! What matters is the question regarding the attractiveness of the lead female alien. Most importantly, do you or do you not find her attractive? Clearly, one would have to say that if he (or she. We are living in the 21st century here) were living on Pandora and happened to be of the Navi race, that yes, the lead female character is indeed very hot. Now as a human, it is a more difficult question, mainly because she is at least ten feet tall and could rip your throat out with the flick of her pinky. If you can get past those major issues, it could be said that she is indeed quite attractive. This is clearly the question on everyone’s mind because everyone knows that the garbage about the plot not being up to snuff and the film relying solely on special effects is a complete waste of breath. Of course it is a special effect heavy movie; that’s what it was meant to be! And, in all fairness, the plot was fine. It wasn’t the most spectacular thing ever written, but it was entertaining and it did what it was supposed to do: provide a reason to unveil these incredibly stunning visual works (which I was unable to fully appreciate because the theater does not yet have 3d projectors. I will keep my fingers crossed). All in all, the movie was highly enjoyable and held my attention for the full 2 hours and 40+ minutes of action. I almost peed my pants at the two hour mark because I couldn’t bring myself to go to the bathroom, but realized I couldn’t hold it for another hour. When I watch a movie that does officially make me pee my pants because I can’t stand to leave and miss a single second, I will let you know. Don’t hold your breath. Despite being inundated with details about the movie and how amazing it was in 3d and that I shouldn’t watch it at a normal theater, I could not have asked for anything more. I was entertained to the extreme and found little to nothing to complain about. Eat it Titanic.

Bartowe, don't see Armored.

So, it’s been awhile since there has been an update on movies in the Maj, and here’s the reason. We watched the movie Armored about two weeks ago, and it was so horrendous that I have been trying to figure out what to write about it. Here’s what I’ve decided: nothing. Just don’t go see it.

That being said, a few of us also went out to watch the new Uncle Jack film entitled “Yokwe Bartowe.” For those of you not currently on island, sorry, you probably won’t get to watch it in the theater. However, if you contact the Majuro Cooperative School, they may be able to figure out a way to get you a copy. Yokwe, Bartowe is essentially a sequel to Na Noniep from last year. Lijimu makes an appearance and attempts to right her wrongs (her dead family begs her to fix things. Nice work Ben et al). Ms. Starling also makes an appearance, demanding that a young girl whose best friend drowned nearly a year ago to essentially suck it up and deal with it. Strong work Ms. Starling. This new Marshall Islands production has come a long way from the days of Na Noniep. There is much less down time, and the action flows throughout the entire movie much more fluidly. The real star of the show was definitely Phil Okney and his endless description of why he has the car he has and how reliable it is. You can’t script this stuff. (Story on the street is that it wasn’t scripted. Phil had free reign to discuss his car as he saw fit.) A quick rundown of the plot without trying to give too much away: young girl “drowns”(was actually stolen by Kolpej to provide entertainment; family blames brother; brother goes into yearlong drunken stupor and drives wedge between self and girlfriend; brother befriends Lijimu; they work together to try to get his sister and girlfriend back. All in all, a well done film explaining some more traditional beliefs in the Marshall Islands, and also doing a good job to show some of the social issues here. Still a few kinks to work out for the next one, but I’m sure it will get better as we go along.